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Relationship Difficulties Therapy in Central London (W1W) & Online

For people stuck in repeating patterns such as people-pleasing, withdrawal, conflict avoidance, or emotional distance

Many people come to therapy because the same relationship problems repeat, even when they understand them intellectually. The pattern may show up with partners, friends, colleagues, or family.

I offer therapy for relationship difficulties in Central London (W1 / W1W) and online, working with adults who want to understand and change relational cycles, not just “talk about them”.

My work integrates ISTDP, DIT and psychodynamic therapy, with CBT tools when helpful for communication and behaviour change.

When relationship difficulties are the main issue

  • people-pleasing, over giving, resentment
  • withdrawal/shutdown under pressure
  • fear of conflict or fear of closeness
  • repeating partner choices and dynamics
  • difficulty expressing needs/boundaries

The relationship cycle

  • Trigger (closeness, criticism, expectation, conflict)
  • Emotion rises (anger, fear, hurt, shame)
  • Strategy: appease / withdraw / control / attack
  • Short relief
  • Long-term cost: distance, resentment, repetition

How ISTDP understands relational patterns

From an ISTDP perspective, relational patterns often persist because emotions feel unsafe to experience (anger, need, vulnerability). Anxiety rises, and defences (people-pleasing/withdrawal) run automatically. Therapy helps increase capacity so different choices become possible.

How therapy helps

We work to:

  • map your relational cycle and triggers
  • build emotional capacity and boundary clarity
  • practise assertive, realistic communication
  • reduce fear-based strategies (control, avoidance, shutdown)

What sessions look like

Early sessions:

  • identify patterns across relationships

Ongoing work:

  • work with patterns as they arise in session; practise new responses

Related ways I work

  • DIT – structured relational focus for anxiety/depression linked to patterns
  • ISTDP/psychodynamic therapy – depth work on attachment and defences

You may also find these pages helpful:

Frequently asked questions

Is this couples therapy?

No, individual therapy for relationship patterns.

Can therapy help even if my partner won’t come?

Yes.

Why do patterns repeat even when I understand them?
Because patterns are often automatic nervous-system responses, not just thoughts. Therapy helps you notice the pattern in real time and practise new responses until they replace the old default.

W1W/online?

Yes.

Insurance?

See Fees & Insurance.

Next steps