For people who feel stuck in grief, or who can’t feel it at all
Grief can involve sadness, longing, anger, guilt, numbness, relief, and a sense of disorientation. Many high-functioning people keep going externally while privately carrying intense emotion or feeling strangely disconnected.
I offer grief therapy in Central London (W1 / W1W) and online, supporting adults who want a contained space to process loss without being rushed.
My work integrates ISTDP-informed therapy, psychodynamic work, and CBT strategies when helpful, with a focus on how grief becomes stuck, and how it can move.
When grief becomes complicated
You might notice:
- feeling emotionally numb or “not grieving properly”
- persistent guilt, self-blame, or rumination
- anger or bitterness you feel ashamed about
- intrusive memories, panic, or trauma around the loss
- avoiding places/things that remind you
- feeling unable to reconnect with life or relationships
The grief cycle (how it can get stuck)
- Reminder of the loss
- Painful emotion rises (sadness, anger, guilt, longing)
- Strategy to manage it:
- suppress / stay busy
- withdraw
- ruminate
- avoid reminders
- Short-term relief
- Long-term cost (grief stays frozen, life narrows)
How ISTDP understands grief
From an ISTDP perspective, grief often becomes stuck when emotions are blocked by:
- guilt (“I shouldn’t feel angry/relieved”)
- fear of collapse (“If I feel this, I won’t cope”)
- self-attack or shame
- Therapy helps build the capacity to experience grief safely, so it can be processed rather than avoided.
How therapy helps with grief
We work to:
- make room for complex emotions (love, anger, guilt, sadness)
- reduce avoidance or overcontrol
- process unfinished relational themes where relevant
- integrate the loss into life without forcing “moving on”
- rebuild connection with meaning and relationships
What sessions usually look like
Early sessions:
- clarify the nature of the loss and what feels stuck
- Ongoing work:
- work directly with blocked grief and guilt/shame
- support re-engagement with life at a manageable pace
Related ways I work
- ISTDP – for blocked emotion and guilt/shame cycles
- Psychodynamic therapy – for relational themes and meaning
- EMDR – when grief is trauma-linked (when indicated)
You may also find these pages helpful:
Frequently asked questions
How long is “normal” grief?
There isn’t one timeline. Therapy focuses on what’s keeping grief stuck.
What if I feel numb?
Numbness is a common protective response and can be worked with.
Is there a ‘right’ way to grieve?
No. Grief looks different for everyone; therapy helps when guilt, avoidance, trauma, or complexity keeps grief stuck or overwhelming.
What if grief triggers panic or intrusive images?
That can happen, especially after sudden or frightening losses. Therapy works on the panic loop and helps you process grief at a manageable pace (and considers trauma-focused work when appropriate).
Do you offer online sessions?
Yes, online or in person in W1W.
Do you work with insurance?
Yes, see Fees & Insurance.
Next steps
If this cycle feels familiar, therapy can help you step out of it.
